I was sixteen years old when my boyfriend told me ‘There is no God!’ He was studying at University and had been enlightened, by his new friends, to the doctrine of ‘exestentualism’ (sic) Thats exactly what he told me in one of his letters which I still have to this day.
We were sitting on a park bench in the afternoon sunshine when he spoke the words aloud and I was stunned that he hadn’t actually been struck down for his blasphemy. But there was no flash of lightning and that’s when I began to question my own Christian beliefs.
I struggled to understand how he could be so certain that the things we’d been taught all our lives were no longer true and decided to do some research at the library. We didn’t have Google in those days or Wikipedia either but we did have Encyclopaedias, reference books and enormous tomes of knowledge and learning. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for as most of my reading up to that age was school-related text books and a variety of fiction ranging from Tolkien to Dennis Wheatley to James Joyce. My religious knowledge was limited to the Christian faith and I didn’t know anyone with a different culture or religious belief. After a great deal of reading and research i discovered the works of Sartre and Camus and I finally realised his spelling mistake! EXISTENTIALISM
a philosophical theory or approach which emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.
My life from then was forever changed…